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DogCityGuide

Should You Visit Your Dog During a Long Separation? The Truth About Extended Time Apart

Should You Visit Your Dog During a Long Separation? The Truth About Extended Time Apart
đŸŸ Published on By Alex Poian

đŸ·ïž Dog-behavior

You’re about to be away from your dog for weeks. Maybe months. A work assignment. A family emergency. A trip you couldn’t avoid. A hospital stay. Life doesn’t always ask if it’s a good time.

And now there’s this question that keeps coming back, especially late at night when everything is quiet:

“If I go see my dog
 will it help, or will it just make things worse?”

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not doing great with it. You feel guilty. You miss your dog more than you expected. You wonder if they’re waiting for you. And you’re stuck between what your heart wants (“just go see them”) and what people keep telling you (“don’t confuse them”).

Let me say this first, clearly:

Feeling this way doesn’t make you a bad owner. It makes you a loving one.

People who don’t feel this kind of pain usually don’t care that deeply.

Now, let’s take the guilt and set it aside for a moment — just long enough to understand what your dog is actually experiencing while you’re gone.

How Dogs Really Experience Long Separations

When you leave, your dog notices. Immediately. This isn’t imagination. It isn’t projecting human emotions.

They know something is different.

Your smell isn’t there. The house feels wrong. The routine breaks.

At first, there can be confusion. Stress. Sometimes real sadness. Not because they understand how long you’ll be gone — but because the world they knew suddenly changed.

Here’s the part that’s hard for us to accept:

Dogs don’t experience time the way we do.

They don’t count days. They don’t think, “Two more weeks.” They live in emotional chunks. In habits. In whatever becomes “normal.”

And this is where something bittersweet happens.

If your dog is in a safe place, with kind people, consistent routines, and genuine care
 they can adapt.

Not because they stop loving you. Not because they forget you. But because their brain says: This is how life works right now. I need to cope.

And often, right when they’ve found that fragile balance, the hardest question appears:

If I visit
 what happens when I leave again?

If you want, next we can talk about that exact moment — what dogs actually feel when you show up for a short visit, when a visit helps, and when, honestly, it can hurt more than it heals.

The Adjustment Curve

Most dogs follow a similar emotional pattern when their person is away. It usually looks like this:

Days 1–3

Hardest period

  • Confusion and searching behavior

  • Appetite changes (often eating less)

  • Restlessness, whining, watching doors

  • Disrupted sleep patterns

Days 4–7

Transition phase

  • Starting to accept the new routine

  • Bonding with the temporary caregiver

  • Appetite usually returns

  • Still alert to sounds that might signal your return

Week 2+

Temporary normal

  • Adapted to a new schedule

  • Comfortable with the caregiver

  • Eating and playing normally

  • Less constant vigilance for your return

This progression is normal — and healthy.

It’s not your dog forgetting you. It’s your dog adjusting — which is exactly what you want.

Visiting vs Waiting: The Pros and Cons

Now the big question: Should you interrupt that adjustment with a visit?

The answer is frustratingly complex: It depends.

Let’s break it down.

✅ When a Short Visit Can Actually Help

Scenario 1: Extremely Long Separations (2+ Months)

For separations lasting several months, strategic visits can:

Best practice: Make visits longer than 24 hours if possible, and not too frequent (once a month rather than weekly).

Scenario 2: Your Dog is Struggling Badly

If your caretaker reports:

A visit might be necessary to assess the situation firsthand and potentially make other arrangements.

Scenario 3: Medical or Special Needs

If your dog:

Visits make sense because wellbeing trumps behavioral concerns.

Scenario 4: The Goodbye Wasn’t Done Well

If you left suddenly (emergency) without proper transition:

One intentional visit with a proper goodbye can reset the situation.

❌ When Visiting Can Actually Make It Harder

Scenario 1: Your Dog Just Started Adjusting

The worst time to visit: Days 7-14 of separation

Why? Because your dog finally:

What a visit does:

Real story:

“I left my Golden Retriever with my parents for 3 weeks. After 10 days, they said he’d finally stopped sitting by the door. I visited for 2 hours on day 12 because I missed him. When I left, he cried for the first time since day 2. My mom said it took another week for him to settle again. I felt horrible.” — Rachel, Chicago

Scenario 2: Short to Medium Separations (2-6 Weeks)

For separations under 6 weeks, dogs typically do better with:

Why?

Dogs thrive on consistency. Multiple arrivals and departures create:

Think of it like:

Ripping off a Band-Aid once vs. peeling it slowly multiple times. The first hurts briefly; the second prolongs the discomfort.

Scenario 3: You’re Visiting for YOUR Comfort, Not Theirs

Honest question: Is the visit for your dog, or for you?

If you’re visiting because:

Your visit might help YOU feel better while making THEM cope twice.

This is the hardest truth, but also the most loving:

Sometimes putting your dog’s needs above your emotional comfort means not visiting, even though everything in you wants to.

Scenario 4: Logistical Stress Outweighs Benefit

If visiting means:

The stress of the logistics can outweigh the benefit of seeing you.

A 4-hour round trip for a 1-hour visit? That’s potentially more stressful than helpful.

What to Do Instead of Visiting

If you’ve determined visiting isn’t the best choice, here are effective alternatives:

1. Video Calls (Use Strategically)

What works:

What doesn’t work:

Research insight:

Some dogs do well with video calls and seem comforted. Others get agitated because they can hear/see you but can’t reach you. Know your dog’s personality.

If video calls make your dog MORE stressed, stop them. They’re for dogs who respond positively, not all dogs.

2. Leave Scent Items

Powerful tools:

Why it works:

Dogs have 300 million scent receptors (we have 6 million). Your scent is deeply comforting and can:

How to use:

3. Maintain Some Familiar Routines

What to keep consistent:

What caregivers should do:

Why it matters:

The more of their world that stays the same, the less overwhelming your absence becomes.

4. Recorded Messages (for Some Dogs)

What this looks like:

Best for:

Not recommended if:

5. Choose the Right Caregiver

This makes the BIGGEST difference:

Your dog will cope much better if:

Options ranked by typical success:

  1. Best: Family member or friend your dog knows well, staying in your home
  2. Good: Professional pet sitter in your home
  3. Good: Boarding with family/friend at their home (if your dog has stayed there before)
  4. Depends: Professional boarding facility (tour it first, check reviews, consider dog’s personality)

Red flags:

6. Prepare a “Comfort Kit” for Your Dog

Include:

Also include:

7. Pre-Separation Preparation (If You Have Time)

If you know separation is coming:

4-6 weeks before:

1-2 weeks before:

Day of departure:

Don’t:

The Reunion: What to Expect When You Return

Your dog WILL remember you. Don’t worry about that.

But the reunion might not look like you expect:

Possible Reactions:

1. Explosive Joy (Most Common)

2. Brief Indifference Then Joy

3. “Punishing” Behavior

4. Velcro Dog Behavior

How to Handle Reunion:

Do:

Don’t:

Within 2-3 days, most dogs are back to complete normal with you.

Making the Decision: A Framework

Still unsure whether to visit? Use this decision tree:

Visit if:

Don’t visit if:

Consider alternatives if:

Frequently Asked Questions

Will my dog forget me if I’m gone for a month?

Absolutely not. Dogs have excellent long-term memory for people they’re bonded with. Even after months or years, dogs recognize their owners. Your dog will remember your scent, voice, and face. The concern isn’t forgetting—it’s adjustment to your absence and readjustment upon return.

How long is too long to leave a dog?

There’s no universal answer—it depends on your dog’s age, temperament, and care situation. Most dogs can adapt to separations of weeks or even months with proper care. However, very young puppies, elderly dogs, or those with severe separation anxiety may struggle with extended time apart. For daily separations like work, check our guide on leaving your dog alone for 8 hours. Quality of care matters more than duration.

Is it cruel to leave my dog for 3 weeks?

No, it’s not cruel if your dog has excellent care, familiar surroundings or a trusted caregiver, and their needs are fully met. Sometimes life requires temporary separation. What matters is preparation, appropriate care, and ensuring your dog’s wellbeing throughout. Guilt doesn’t help—good planning does.

Should I FaceTime my dog while I’m away?

It depends on your dog’s reaction. Some dogs find video calls comforting; others become distressed because they can hear/see you but not reach you. Try once or twice—if your dog seems calm or happy, continue. If they become anxious, agitated, or search for you afterward, stop. It should help them, not stress them.

My dog stopped eating—should I visit?

Not eating for 1-2 days is common during initial adjustment. If it extends beyond 3-4 days, or if your dog shows other concerning signs (lethargy, vomiting, extreme depression), contact your vet first. A visit might be necessary, but rule out medical issues before assuming it’s purely emotional.

Will my dog be mad at me when I return?

Some dogs show brief “protest” behavior (aloofness, turning away) for 10-30 minutes, but it passes quickly. Most dogs show immediate joy. Any lingering clinginess or behavioral changes typically resolve within a week. Your dog isn’t holding a grudge—they’re readjusting to having you back.

Final Thoughts: Trust Your Dog (and Yourself)

Here’s what I want you to remember:

1. Your dog is more resilient than you think.

They’re not fragile. They’re adaptable. Yes, they miss you. Yes, separation is hard. But they can handle it—especially with good care.

2. Your guilt is normal, but don’t let it drive decisions.

Missing your dog doesn’t mean you’re failing them. Feeling terrible doesn’t mean they’re suffering equally. Sometimes the most loving thing is to let them adjust fully rather than disrupting the process.

3. There’s no perfect answer.

Some dogs do better with visits. Some don’t. You know your dog better than anyone. Trust your instincts, but also be willing to put their needs above your comfort.

4. The relationship isn’t fragile.

Your bond won’t break because of weeks apart. Your dog’s love for you isn’t conditional on constant presence. When you return, the relationship will pick up where it left off. Trust that.

5. Focus on what you CAN control.

You can’t always avoid separation. But you can:

Those things matter more than whether you visit.

The Closing Thought

I don’t know your specific situation. I don’t know if you’re leaving for medical reasons, work, family crisis, or something else. But I know this:

The fact that you’re here, reading this, asking these questions—that makes you a good dog owner.

Bad owners don’t agonize over whether to visit. They don’t worry about their dog’s emotional wellbeing. They don’t lose sleep over making the right choice.

You’re already doing the hard work of putting your dog first, even when it hurts.

So whatever you decide—visit or wait—do it with confidence that you’re acting out of love. And when you’re finally reunited with your dog, that tail will wag, those eyes will light up, and you’ll both remember:

Time apart doesn’t change love. It just makes the reunion sweeter.

You’ve got this. And so does your dog.

More resources to help you and your dog through separation and beyond:

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