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DogCityGuide

How to Show Your Dog You Love Them: 15 Ways + Love Bond Quiz

How to Show Your Dog You Love Them: 15 Ways + Love Bond Quiz
🐾 Published on By Alex Poian

🏷️ Dog-health

It’s 3am. Your dog nudges you awake for the third time tonight.

Are they testing your patience? Or do they just not know you love them enough to let you sleep?

Here’s what keeps dog owners up at night (besides their dogs): “Does my dog actually KNOW how much I love them?”

You’d do anything for your pup. You buy the best food. You take them to the vet. You let them steal your pillow. But here’s the uncomfortable truth most vets won’t tell you upfront: your dog might not feel the love you think you’re showing.

Dogs don’t speak English. They don’t care about the expensive bed you bought. They communicate love in totally different ways than humans do—and if you’re not speaking their language, you’re basically texting someone who doesn’t have a phone.

According to 2026 veterinary behavior research, dogs experience love through oxytocin bonding—the same “love hormone” humans release. But triggering that response requires specific actions most owners get wrong.

The good news? I’ve created the Dog Love Bond Calculator—a 2-minute quiz that tells you exactly how well your dog feels your love (scored 0-100) and what to fix.

In this guide, you’ll discover:

✅ Your dog’s Love Bond Score (take the quiz below) ✅ The 5 love languages dogs actually understand ✅ 15 science-backed ways to show affection ✅ Signs your dog loves you back (and what they mean) ✅ Common mistakes that make dogs feel unloved

Let’s find out if your dog knows they’re your world—or if you need to step up your game.

Table of Contents

  1. Take the Dog Love Bond Quiz
  2. Do Dogs Know When You Love Them?
  3. The 5 Love Languages of Dogs
  4. 15 Ways to Show Your Dog You Love Them
  5. How to Tell If Your Dog Loves You Back
  6. 7 Mistakes That Make Dogs Feel Unloved
  7. 30-Day Love Challenge
  8. FAQ: Showing Love to Your Dog

Take the Dog Love Bond Quiz

Before we dive in, let’s get real about your current relationship.

This 2-minute quiz measures how well your dog feels your love across four critical areas:

💝 Physical Affection — Touch, proximity, eye contact 🗣️ Communication & Attention — How you talk and engage 🎾 Play & Joy — Shared fun and celebration 🛡️ Safety & Care — Creating security and trust

Your results will show:

No email required. No BS. Just honest feedback.

Question 1 of 128% Complete
💝 Physical Affection
💝

How often do you pet, cuddle, or physically touch your dog?

Physical touch releases oxytocin—the 'love hormone'—in both of you

Do Dogs Know When You Love Them?

Short answer: Yes—if you show it in ways they understand.

Look, I’m going to be real with you. Dogs aren’t mind readers. Loving them silently in your heart while scrolling TikTok on the couch? That doesn’t register.

The Science of Dog Love

Research from the University of Tokyo (2025) found that dogs release oxytocin when interacting with their owners—the same bonding hormone that mother and babies share. But here’s the kicker: this only happens during active engagement.

What triggers oxytocin release in dogs:

What DOESN’T trigger it:

Translation: Your dog knows you love them when you actively show it. Passive presence isn’t enough.

Can Dogs Feel Love From Humans?

Absolutely. MRI studies show that dogs’ brains light up in the caudate nucleus (the “reward center”) when they smell their owner’s scent—the same brain region that activates in humans when they see someone they love.

But here’s where most people screw up: dogs measure love by consistency, not intensity.

A 10-minute cuddle session once a week? Your dog feels ignored. Five 2-minute petting sessions throughout the day? Your dog feels loved.

Dogs live in the moment. They don’t remember that amazing hike you did last Saturday. They care about what you’re doing right now.

The 5 Love Languages of Dogs

Remember that book “The 5 Love Languages”? Turns out dogs have their own version. And no, “gifts” isn’t one of them (sorry, expensive toy companies).

1. Physical Touch 💝

What it means to dogs: Security, comfort, bonding.

Dogs are pack animals. In the wild, puppies sleep piled on top of each other. Adult dogs lean against pack members. Physical contact = safety.

How to speak this language:

Red flag: If your dog seeks physical contact and you consistently push them away, they’ll stop trying. And that breaks my heart to write.

2. Quality Time 🕐

What it means to dogs: You value them. You’re present.

Ever notice how your dog stares at you when you’re on your phone? They’re not being needy. They’re saying, “Hey, I’m right here. Do you see me?”

How to speak this language:

The test: Can you spend 10 minutes with your dog without checking your phone? If not, your dog’s love tank is running on empty.

3. Words of Affirmation (Tone, Not Words) 🗣️

What it means to dogs: Your energy, your mood, your feelings toward them.

Dogs don’t understand, “I love you, sweetie.” But they 100% understand the how you say it.

How to speak this language:

Real talk: People who say “baby talk is weird” are wrong. Studies show dogs prefer high-pitched, warm tones over normal speech. Your dog doesn’t care if you sound silly.

4. Acts of Service (Care & Protection) 🛡️

What it means to dogs: You’re their protector. You meet their needs.

This isn’t just feeding and vet visits. It’s about being their safe space when the world feels scary.

How to speak this language:

Controversial opinion: The old “ignore your dog’s fear so you don’t reinforce it” advice? Trash it. When your dog is scared and you ignore them, they don’t think, “Oh, I shouldn’t be scared.” They think, “I’m alone and no one cares.”

5. Play & Joy 🎾

What it means to dogs: Life with you is fun. You’re not just a caretaker—you’re a friend.

Dogs don’t just need exercise. They need shared joy. There’s a massive difference between throwing a ball while scrolling Instagram vs. actively playing together.

How to speak this language:

Watch for this: If your dog brings you a toy and you say “not now,” they’ll eventually stop asking. Dogs learn when play is welcome and when it’s not.

15 Ways to Show Your Dog You Love Them

Alright, enough theory. Here are 15 actionable ways to show your dog you love them—backed by science, tested by millions of dog owners, and guaranteed to strengthen your bond.

What it is: Make gentle eye contact with your dog and slowly close your eyes for 1-2 seconds. Repeat.

Why it works: This mimics how dogs show affection and trust to each other. Japanese research (2025) found that dogs who receive slow blinks from their owners show increased oxytocin levels.

How to do it: Next time your dog is looking at you, lock eyes, smile, and do an exaggerated slow blink. They’ll likely blink back—that’s dog for “I love you too.”

2. Physical Touch Throughout the Day

What it is: Don’t save petting for “special” moments. Touch your dog constantly.

Why it works: Consistent physical contact releases oxytocin in both you and your dog. It’s literally a chemical love loop.

How to do it:

Pro tip: Dogs have favorite petting spots (usually ears, chest, base of tail). Find yours and hit that spot multiple times daily.

3. Enthusiastic Greetings

What it is: Make your homecoming a CELEBRATION.

Why it works: Your dog thinks you’ve been gone forever. Matching their energy validates their excitement and reinforces that seeing you is the best part of their day.

How to do it: Even if you were only gone 10 minutes:

Don’t: Rush past them to check your phone. Those first 30 seconds matter more than you think.

4. Sleep Proximity

What it is: Let your dog sleep in your room (minimum) or on your bed (ideal).

Why it works: Dogs are den animals. Sleeping near their pack = safety and love. Research shows dogs who sleep with their owners have lower nighttime cortisol (stress hormone).

How to do it:

“But what about boundaries?” Look, if you’re worried your dog will “dominate” you by sleeping on the bed, you’ve been reading outdated training advice. Modern science says co-sleeping strengthens bonds and doesn’t cause behavior problems.

5. Belly Rubs (When They Ask)

What it is: When your dog rolls over and exposes their belly, DROP EVERYTHING and rub that belly.

Why it works: Belly exposure is extreme vulnerability. Your dog is saying, “I trust you completely.” Responding to that trust builds security.

How to do it:

Not all dogs love belly rubs: Some prefer chest or back scratches. Pay attention to what makes their leg kick—that’s their sweet spot.

6. Training Sessions as Bonding Time

What it is: Teach new tricks. Practice old ones. Make training fun, not just functional.

Why it works: Training = mental engagement + one-on-one attention. Dogs love learning from their favorite person.

How to do it:

Easy tricks to start: Shake, spin, “play dead,” high-five, touch (nose to hand).

7. Talk to Them (Like, A Lot)

What it is: Narrate your day. Ask rhetorical questions. Have full conversations with your dog.

Why it works: Dogs don’t care about the words. They care about your tone, your attention, and feeling included in your life.

How to do it:

You’ll feel silly at first. Do it anyway. Your dog LOVES the sound of your voice.

8. “Sniff Walks” Where They Lead

What it is: Let your dog stop and sniff everything. No rushing. They set the pace.

Why it works: Dogs experience the world through smell. A 10-minute sniff walk is mentally equivalent to an hour-long hike for humans.

How to do it:

This is love to a dog. You’re honoring their needs over your agenda.

9. Respond to Their Bids for Attention

What it is: When your dog nudges you, brings you a toy, or stares at you, RESPOND within 60 seconds.

Why it works: Psychologist John Gottman’s research on human relationships shows that responding to “bids for connection” predicts relationship success. Same applies to dogs.

How to do it:

What happens if you ignore them? They learn their bids don’t matter. Eventually, they stop trying. That’s when you get a “distant” dog.

10. Celebrate Their Joy

What it is: When your dog is excited (zoomies, tail wags, bouncing), GET EXCITED WITH THEM.

Why it works: Shared joy strengthens bonds. Your dog learns that their happiness makes YOU happy—which makes them feel valued.

How to do it:

This feels awkward for reserved people. Do it anyway. Your dog doesn’t care if you look silly.

11. Create Rituals

What it is: Daily routines your dog can predict and look forward to.

Why it works: Predictability = security. Rituals = “our special thing.”

Examples:

The key: Consistency. Missing a ritual once is fine. Missing it three times in a row? Your dog notices.

12. Comfort Them When They’re Scared

What it is: Be your dog’s safe space during thunderstorms, fireworks, vet visits.

Why it works: Trust is built when dogs learn you’ll protect them during scary moments.

How to do it:

Debunking the myth: “Don’t comfort scared dogs or you’ll reinforce fear.” This advice is wrong. You can’t reinforce an emotion. You CAN build trust by being there when they need you.

13. Let Them “Help” You

What it is: Include your dog in daily activities.

Why it works: Dogs want to be useful. They’re happiest when involved in your life.

Examples:

This isn’t anthropomorphizing. Dogs genuinely feel more bonded when they’re part of your activities.

14. Healthy Treats as Love Languages

What it is: Use treats strategically for bonding, not just training.

Why it works: Food = love in dog brains (just like humans, tbh).

How to do it:

Balance: Treats should be 10% or less of daily calories. Love doesn’t mean obesity.

15. Just Be Present

What it is: Put away distractions. Sit with your dog. Be there.

Why it works: Dogs don’t need entertainment 24/7. They need YOUR ATTENTION.

How to do it:

This is the most underrated way to show love. And the one most people skip because it feels “boring.” Your dog disagrees.

How to Tell If Your Dog Loves You Back

You’re showing your dog love. But does your dog love YOU?

Here are 12 science-backed signs your dog is bonded to you:

1. They Make Eye Contact

What it means: Trust and affection. Prolonged eye contact releases oxytocin in both of you.

Watch for: Soft eyes, relaxed face, slow blinks.

Not this: Hard stares with tension (that’s stress or guarding).

2. Excited Greetings Every Single Time

What it means: You’re their favorite thing in the world.

Watch for: Tail wags, wiggle butts, jumping, whining with joy, bringing toys.

Even if: You were only gone for 5 minutes. Time doesn’t matter to dogs.

3. They Follow You Everywhere

What it means: You’re their person. They want proximity.

Watch for: Bathroom shadow, kitchen helper, bedroom follower.

This isn’t “Velcro dog syndrome”: It’s bonding. Dogs follow the people they love.

4. They Lean Into You

What it means: Physical leaning is a hug in dog language.

Watch for: Your dog pressing their body weight against you while sitting or standing.

Why it matters: This is trust and affection. They’re choosing your space as their safe space.

5. They Sleep Near/On You

What it means: Extreme trust. You’re safe, and they want to protect you too.

Watch for: Sleeping touching you, in your room, or in your bed.

Fun fact: Studies show dogs sync their sleep cycles to their owners over time. That’s love.

6. They Bring You Toys

What it means: Invitation to play + “here’s my most valuable thing.”

Watch for: Dropping toys at your feet, nudging you with a toy in their mouth.

Don’t miss this: If your dog brings you a toy when you’re sad or stressed, they’re trying to comfort you.

7. They Lick Your Face/Hands

What it means: Affection, grooming behavior, “I love you” kisses.

Watch for: Gentle licks, especially on face, hands, or arms.

Cultural note: Some people think licking is dominance. Science says it’s affection.

8. They Check on You

What it means: “Are you okay? I need to make sure.”

Watch for: Coming to find you if you’re in another room, looking back at you during walks.

This is reciprocal care: You care for them, they care for you.

9. Tail Wags to the Right

What it means: Positive emotions (science: right-brain hemisphere activation).

Watch for: Tail wagging more to the dog’s right side when they see you.

The opposite: Left-side wags indicate stress or uncertainty.

10. They Steal Your Clothes

What it means: Your scent comforts them.

Watch for: Sleeping on your dirty laundry, stealing socks, lying on your shoes.

Translation: “This smells like my favorite person, and it makes me feel safe.”

11. They Yawn When You Yawn

What it means: Empathy and bonding. Contagious yawning only happens with bonded individuals.

Test it: Yawn near your dog. Do they yawn back?

Science: Dogs don’t “catch” yawns from strangers—only from people they’re bonded to.

12. Calm Behavior After Reunion

What it means: Secure attachment. They trust you’ll come back.

Watch for: Excited greeting, then calm behavior (not frantic anxiety).

Red flag: If your dog is inconsolable for 30+ minutes after you return, that might be separation anxiety (not healthy love).

7 Mistakes That Make Dogs Feel Unloved

Let’s talk about what NOT to do. These common mistakes damage your bond without you realizing it:

1. Inconsistent Attention

The mistake: Showering your dog with attention one day, ignoring them the next.

Why it hurts: Dogs can’t understand “I’m busy today.” They just know you’re suddenly unavailable, and it creates anxiety.

Fix it: Consistency beats intensity. Ten minutes of focused attention daily is better than two hours on Saturday and nothing all week.

2. Punishment-Based Training

The mistake: Yelling, hitting, “dominance” techniques.

Why it hurts: Fear isn’t love. Your dog learns to avoid you, not bond with you.

Fix it: Positive reinforcement only. Reward what you want, ignore what you don’t.

3. Ignoring Fear

The mistake: Leaving your dog alone during thunderstorms, vet visits, or scary moments.

Why it hurts: Dogs learn they’re on their own when things get hard. That’s the opposite of secure bonding.

Fix it: Be present. Comfort them. You can’t “reinforce” an emotion.

4. Pushing Them Away

The mistake: Consistently rejecting your dog’s bids for affection (“not now,” “go lay down”).

Why it hurts: Dogs learn their needs don’t matter. They stop trying.

Fix it: If your dog seeks attention, respond—even if it’s just 30 seconds of petting before saying, “Okay, I need to work now.”

5. Not Talking to Them

The mistake: Silent coexistence. You’re in the same room but never engage verbally.

Why it hurts: Dogs are social animals. Silence feels like rejection.

Fix it: Talk to your dog constantly. They don’t care what you say—they care that you’re including them.

6. Phone Over Dog

The mistake: Scrolling your phone while your dog sits next to you, staring.

Why it hurts: Your dog knows you’re ignoring them. They can read your attention and body language.

Fix it: 30 minutes a day, minimum, phone-free time with your dog.

7. Zero Physical Affection

The mistake: “I’m just not a touchy person.”

Why it hurts: Dogs communicate primarily through touch. No touch = no bonding.

Fix it: Start small. Three 5-minute petting sessions daily. Build from there.

30-Day Love Challenge

Want to transform your relationship with your dog? Try this 30-day challenge.

The Rules:

Week 1: Physical Touch

Daily goal: Pet your dog for 5+ minutes, 3 times a day (morning, afternoon, evening).

Track it: Set phone reminders. Check off each session.

Week 2: Quality Time

Daily goal: 15 minutes of phone-free, focused attention (play, cuddles, training).

Track it: No distractions. Just you and your dog.

Week 3: Communication

Daily goal: Talk to your dog constantly throughout the day (narrate your life).

Track it: Aim for 50+ interactions (even just “good dog!” counts).

Week 4: Play & Joy

Daily goal: Two 5-10 minute play sessions (actively engaged, not passive).

Track it: Get on the floor. Match their energy. Have fun.

By Day 30: You’ll have four new habits that radically strengthen your bond. Your dog will be noticeably happier, more affectionate, and more bonded to you.

FAQ: Showing Love to Your Dog

How do I know if my dog feels loved?

Watch their body language. A dog who feels loved shows:

If your dog avoids you, seems tense around you, or doesn’t seek affection, they may not feel secure in your bond. Take the Love Bond Quiz above to identify gaps.

Do dogs understand when you kiss them?

Not exactly. Dogs don’t naturally kiss each other, so they don’t instinctively understand human kisses as affection. HOWEVER, dogs learn over time that kisses = love through context and your body language. Most dogs come to enjoy kisses because they associate them with attention and affection.

Some dogs don’t like kisses (especially on the head). Watch for signs of stress: turning head away, licking lips, tense body. If your dog tolerates kisses but doesn’t enjoy them, show love in other ways.

Can you love your dog too much?

Rarely, but yes—if “love” becomes smothering. Overly attached dogs can develop separation anxiety, where they panic when you leave. Healthy love includes:

But for 99% of dogs? They’re not getting ENOUGH love, not too much.

How do dogs choose their favorite person?

Dogs bond most strongly with the person who:

It’s not about who’s home the most—it’s about who engages the most. A person who works full-time but spends 2 hours of focused time with the dog will beat someone who’s home all day but ignores them.

Do dogs feel love the same way humans do?

Yes and no. Dogs experience love through oxytocin bonding, the same hormone humans release during maternal bonding, romantic love, and close friendships. MRI studies show similar brain patterns in dogs and humans when looking at loved ones.

However, dogs don’t conceptualize love abstractly like humans. They feel love in the moment through actions—physical touch, play, attention, security. They don’t think, “I love my owner because they work hard to afford my food.” They think, “This person pets me, plays with me, and makes me feel safe. I love them.”

What is the best way to bond with a new dog?

For the first 30 days with a new dog:

Avoid:

Bonding takes 2-3 months minimum. Be patient.

How long does it take for a dog to bond with you?

Minimum: 2-3 months for basic trust and attachment.

Deep bond: 6-12 months of consistent, positive interactions.

Unbreakable bond: Years of daily love, trust-building, and shared experiences.

Factors that speed bonding:

Factors that slow bonding:

Does sleeping with your dog strengthen your bond?

Yes. Studies show that co-sleeping increases oxytocin in both dogs and humans. Dogs who sleep with their owners show:

Sleeping together mimics pack behavior, where dogs sleep near each other for warmth and security.

Exception: If your dog has severe separation anxiety, a certified behaviorist may recommend crate training first to build independence BEFORE co-sleeping.

The Bottom Line: Your Dog Can’t Read Your Mind

Here’s what I wish every dog owner understood:

Your dog doesn’t know you worked overtime to afford their vet bill.

They don’t know you’re stressed about money.

They don’t know you’re tired from work.

They only know what you show them in this moment.

Dogs live in the present. They measure love by today’s interactions—the petting, the play, the attention, the tone of your voice.

If you’ve taken the Love Bond Quiz and scored lower than you wanted, don’t beat yourself up. The fact that you’re here, reading this, trying to improve? That already makes you a better owner than most.

Your dog isn’t holding a grudge about the past. They’re sitting next to you right now, hoping you’ll look away from this screen and scratch behind their ears.

So here’s your homework:

  1. Close this tab
  2. Find your dog
  3. Pet them for 5 full minutes
  4. Tell them you love them (use that silly high-pitched voice)
  5. Come back tomorrow and implement ONE tip from this guide

Your dog’s already forgiven you for every mistake. Now show them the love they deserve.

Related Articles:

Sources & Research

This article references peer-reviewed research and expert sources:

Scientific Studies:

Expert Sources:

External Links:

Written by Alex | January 16, 2026 | DogCityGuide.com

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